Saturday, 18 July 2009

New York

33 weeks to go.
Thats how many weeks until my wedding day. Until I become a wife. A wedded woman, part of a married couple. I become someone new, a new name, a new identity - maybe a new person. I am so excited. Its the next chapter in my life, or maybe it is merely chapter one. Perhaps up until this point I have been living out the prologue.

33 weeks and 2 days.
I go to my most favourite place ever. New York. Ten wonderful nights in somewhere I wish was home. I am beyond excited to be going back and this time with the love of my life. Will I see it through different eyes? There is so much I want to see; do and show my soon to be husband. The best ten days of my life - no matter what!!

Two years ago if you'd have told me I would be living here, with my FIANCEE, counting down the weeks until my wedding day I would have laughed. I would have looked you in the eye and called you a liar. I genuinely did not think I would meet him. I never thought I could be in love, or have someone love me; accept me for who I am, what I am and want to make me his wife. I feel very lucky, cherished and thankful. Whatever I did to get him - THANK YOU.

Search with eyes wide open and you may not find the things you seek.

Tuesday, 14 July 2009


This is what I wear in bed every night, hot stuff eh?!

I have sleep Apnoea. I would go into major definition a la Wikipedia style but I figure if your interested in finding out what it is, what it means, how it effects me you'll go look yourself.


"Sleep apnea: The temporary stoppage of breathing during sleep, often resulting in daytime sleepiness. Apnea is a Greek word that means "want of breath."
The most common form of sleep apnea is
obstructive sleep apnea. In obstructive sleep apnea, the muscles of the soft palate around the base of the tongue and the uvula relax, obstructing the airway. The airway obstruction causes the level of oxygen in the blood to fall (hypoxia), increases the stress on the heart, elevates blood pressure, and prevents the patient from entering REM sleep, the restful and restorative stage of sleep. In other words, sleep apnea causes deprivation of quality sleep.
The symptoms of obstructive sleep apnea include loud snoring and/or abnormal pattern of snoring with pauses and gasps. Other symptoms include
excessive daytime sleepiness, memory changes, depression, and irritability. " (

To stop this I have to use a CPAP machine. For want of a better makes air flow into the airway at a constant pressure - so there is no obstruction and therefore I don't "breath hold" and I can enter a deeper level of sleep.

Ive been on the CPAP machine for about 10 months and its amazing. After a few strange weeks, I learn't how to move around in my sleep, I learn't to NOT open my mouth at all whilst wearing it or something very odd happens and I feel like I'm choking on air. I can go to the bathroom during the night, not strangle myself in my sleep and more importantly - I know how to position the mask so cool air blows on me - useful during the hot nights I may add.

Seriously it works. My sleep now compared to before is a million per cent better. I don't have headache in the morning. I am not sleepy and drowsy in the day and Iget a full nights rest.

The CPAP machine isn't a miracle worker - it doesnt cure MY OWN imsonia. I wish it did though. I figure all these years of not having the CPAP and not having a full nights sleep has effected me somehow.

So there, something new you didn't know about me. Interesting or not. Its true and more people than you think will be exactly the same!!